But You Ate My Piece of Cake...

I will never let it go, even though it's been well over 30 years ago it's just what older brothers do, hang on to shit to bring it up later. I feel like I wouldn't be holding up to my big brother obligations if I didn't bring it up once every 3^rd blue moon at that perfect time.

See my brother and I were about 5 and 2. He was sitting in his high chair and I was on my knees in my chair as we were both devouring these last two pieces of wedding cake that my parents so kindly brought back for us. Not long into falling into sugar heaven bliss because the icing was everything back then, do I notice that I have to pee. I try to ignore it but the longer I try, the stronger it gets. I think ( even at 5 ) that it's disgustingly bad taste for me to bring my piece into the bathroom with me so I look at my brother who is looking at me while I'm pondering what to do about this predicament. I was actually shocked that he was still using his hand and fork technique because usually by now you could hear his fork land somewhere and he needed to get both hands on his prize.

I then stare at him and feel time slow down as I'm heading towards the decision of leaving my cake in his face, figuring that I've pissed really fast before and he couldn't make it out of that high chair fast enough to eat his piece and get to mine. So I shove my piece in the middle of this pretty large kitchen table and tear off for the bathroom. Mind you I used to brag to my pops that I could pee a gallon in record time, so I had a nice stream going, finished dropped the seat and lid, flushed my hands and ran back around the corner to see this boy shoving the last piece of my cake into his mouth. That's when he froze as though I wasn't coming back. If you could have seen his face it was like, “Oh you still wanted this?”

So to this day, I still give my brother shit over this and his repeated response is, “Man I'll buy you a cake” and I tell him no, I want to bring this up as often as I'd like from now on which is followed by the usual younger brother response the eye roll and walk away. Yeah I still win!

Faster Booties

So one night a whole gang of my cousins came into town. Now some of them live closer and some live pretty far away. Heck, some of them I've never even seen before but I've always felt that the more you have, the better. Being that I was still the oldest, ( and that I was around 16 and their ages tapered down ), they all followed me like drones, and after all of the running around and just enjoying our time together, it was time for bed. So we get to my room (why 10 boys had to sleep in my room was beyond me ) and telling all kinds of stories to each other.

Well after hearing of all kinds of funny stories from me, one of my more younger cousins chimes in with his story about what he saw in the park on his way home from school one day. He says that he was walking home taking the usual route back home when he saw this boy on top of this girl and it looked like he was hurting her. By this time my brothers and I had seen quite a bit of sex on TV or porn so we start snickering. My young cousin was still describing the scene, see he was walking from behind them, and he could hear her and she was getting louder and louder and then he said the boy was doing faster booties, and faster booties. He never bothered to tell us about how he intervened but I think that was because none of us could hold our laughter in after that. The innocent look on his face told so much, he didn't understand the humor and was still trying to defend the girls pain which only made the laughter louder. We have never let him forget this story and all he does is roll his eyes. I love my family.

I'm Sorry for Taking So Long

    Thank you for attempting to spend time with me and my brothers. I now know something about how hard your life was. I can remember you telling me, "If you wanna go fishin' with me, you betta' do it soon before I pass away." I would always respond with, “Grandma please stop talking like that, we've got plenty of time.” The you passed away. We never ended up going fishing and I know that was something that you loved to do, and I knew then I should have just gone with you. I know I should have just dealt with the mosquito's that early in the morning just to spend some more time with you but I didn't, I took "OUR" time for granted, you have always been there when I was young.

    Your silence made me feel uneasy and what's odd is that silence is something that is apart of me; some people find it unsettling. At the time I didn't understand but now when I write this letter to you I can feel it, the difference is for me is it no longer feels unsettling. I know that you had a very different life than I had but I find it interesting the things that I've picked up from you through that silence. For instance the time when you showed me how to cool off on a hot day, by taking a cold face rag and sit in front of the fan. So for all the times that I do go fishing, I will think of you when I see the calm waters. I love and miss you Grand-ma'.

    She passed away back in my mid-teens this is just something that I have been carrying around with me since then, thats a long long long time for a apology. For the woman who taught me to sip the last of really good kool-aid slowly,

                           I love you - your grand son