Excuses We've all Used Them

    So what was the best excuse that got you off from work? I'm not  talking about a truthful one at that. I'm talking about getting away with some crap.  See I was working this gig that I would have had to worked to fired from, seriously. So I knew I was set but anyway there were plenty of days that I didn't goto work and a lot of them I didn't.  Sometimes even at work I used excuses to go home as everyone did, well let me break down the situation for you and get ready to get your giggle on. This Shit was priceless.

    I was working third shift and I learned a condition at work by this point that if you worked over 4 hours in one night they have to pay you for the rest of that shift even if you leave. I thought perfect cause I don't feel like being here anyway. So I walk downstairs to my boss's (man that word looks odd)office and he has his desk set up so he has his back to the door. He knows my voice, so when I speak he doesn't even turn around when I enter. I tell him my stomach is fucking with me man I need to go home, (now understand the whole point of this job is to push these last bit of parts out so we can close so why would we be in a rush and I mean we being the union workers) but anyway, he asks whats wrong I tell him again that my stomach is fucking with me (ain't a damn thang wrong either) then thats when I dropped the bomb..."Look man I shit on myself" and I had to say it just as serious and embarrasses as possible or it wouldn't have worked and once I said it I saw this cat's back bounce hes laughing, and so to fight my laughter I bolt out "Man its not funny!" he just waves and tells me to go home, so I waddle back to tell the good news to my cats on the line with a wink and I'm out The thing is, I have used this excuse twice once on first and then this time on third shift.

    I know people used to, have to come up with some sort of excuse just for taking items back to stores. I figure it doesn't mean that I am sure but I figure that women can use the "time of the month" one too to get off work but how many of you have been creative enough to say that you shit your pants with a straight face? I think I deserve an award, seriously.