The Cuss Out!

One day one of my cats, asked me if I want to get out of the house. He needed to run an errand and wanted some company, so I said cool. I'm thinking this is going to be one of the regular days when he wanted to vent about his girlfriend, or just get out of the house but I couldn't anymore wrong. When he showed up he has his girl's son in the backseat, I didn't think much of it at the time. Now I know that this kid was a special case and I don't really visit my dude at his house due to how his girl and I get along (or don't get along), but regardless the son was being behaving, I think he was close to ten at the time.

When we make it to this store and my dude has to goto customer service line, so I take the opportunity to walk around and try to talk to some girls. This is when shit starts going haywire. The boy wants to follow me for some reason. I tell him to go back to stay with his moms boyfriend but he's having none of that and he has this smirk on his face too. So I figure I can lose him within a couple of isles, and he sees this as a game, I just don't want him around when I'm trying to talk to these girls. He really wouldn't help with the girl getting mentality. So we start out by the video games and I try to lose him in isles but he keeps finding me.

At this point talking to girls has become a moved point. So I figure at this time that we'll just walk around until my dude has finished his business, but he is nowhere near the customer service lane. I hear him giggling from the other isles, as he's calling my name out loud and all of these people are looking at me like he's with me. It is horrible. We started out on one side of the store and which is the more hardwares and now are making it over to the grocery side and this kid is in the bread isle and he's throwing loaves of bread over the isle and they are hitting me in the head (surprisingly he had great aim for not being able to seeing me). I'm pretty pissed about this and I can't yell at him, or do anything physically to this kid because people are watching. All of these moms are giving me this look, and telling their children to stay close to them. It's times like this where I think I am going to hear something over the loud speaker like, “Angry black man in the chips and pop isle.”

Finally we make it to the exit and there's my dude standing there, smiling cause he got his mission accomplished (at least one of us did). So the kid runs to catch up with him and I take this time to focus my breathing, I can seriously feel myself start to overheat and started thinking getting girls might not be the thing for me if it leads to this with kids. They make it to the car, and I hear it start up, I'm still on my cool-down stroll, finally after about twenty seconds I'm in the passenger seat and the door shuts. Now just let me say that I've tried very, very damn hard not to get to this point, but in my mind at that time it was unavoidable. I mean really we've all ran into a child that we wanted to pull aside and cuss their little asses out but it's just not right, right? So as the door shuts and my ass hits the seat, in record lightening speed I am on my knees, leaning over the back of the seat and I am face to face with this little fucks. I am giving him thee supreme cuss out of his life and he is leaning his head so far back it's like he wanted to hide in the trunk. It lasted all of two minutes or so.

When I finished I looked over at my friend and he looked as if he was frozen in time, eyes bucked, and hands gripped the stirring wheel. He asked, “Man what happened?” My only response that I could muster was, “Drive.” He made a comment about how quiet the boy was the whole ride and chuckled I still couldn't bring myself to a smile. The kid was quiet the whole ride home, but when we finally made it back to their apartment complex he hops out and yells as he's running into the apartment, that he's telling him mom. So she comes out and asks me how come I didn't spank him. My only response I can give before leaving was, “HE'S NOT MINE!”